About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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