I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
