i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
