And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
