So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
