Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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