Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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