So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
