i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
