so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
