So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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