so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
