why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
