So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I would ride that face into the sunset
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