I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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