What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
