You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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