I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
