dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
