i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
