I am in a vortex of obligation.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
