So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
