I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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