I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
