it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
