Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
