At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
