I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
