I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
