i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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