it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
