thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
