Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
