The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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