I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
