she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
