At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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