is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
