i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
