I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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