So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize