Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
