I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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