I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
ok first of all what the fuck
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize