guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
