yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
