I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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