Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
