: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
