I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
